


Brothers in the Dark

by LizzySledgeHammer



Category: Left 4 Dead 2, The Darkness (Games)
Genre: Crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 03:17:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2372552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzySledgeHammer/pseuds/LizzySledgeHammer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before the Infection hit, Jackie called on his friend Nick to make a delivery to Savannah Georgia.</p><p>It didn't go as planned for the conman.<br/>Now Nick has been carrying a Darkness Relic during his trip to New Orleans and beyond.<br/>What happens when Jackie is imprisoned by the Angelus, and Nick is the Darkness's only way out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brothers in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I wrote this about a year ago, I haven't had it beta-read so please excuse any typos, etc...
> 
> I need to read the comics more, but I am very familiar with the games. I had this idea while playing the Darkness 2 and it just wouldn't leave me be.
> 
> Let me know if you enjoy! I'd love to write more!
> 
> \- Edit (7/20/2015): Slight editing and fixes to this first chapter, because of school I've been very distracted. Hoping to write more in the coming months.

“Hey, Jackie?”

“Yeah?”

“If it means anything… I’m sorry about Jenny.” Dark eyes fixed on the man in the white suit, “She was a sweet girl.”

“Yeah. She was.” He didn’t stand from his chair, still sitting behind the desk as the tall man wandered to the window, sipping at his drink. White suit, blue shirt, gold rings, slicked back hair and sharp eyes, “So you’re good with this?”

“For you? Sure. It’s not like you’ve got a reason to fuck me over.” He snorted, ice clinking in the glass. He shifted his weight to his left leg, loosening his blue tie slightly, “Besides, I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me shit, Nick. I just need someone I trust to take care of this.”

“You shouldn’t trust me, Estacado.”

“Don’t pull that shit, I know you’re not that fuckin’ dumb to try the tough guy act on me, asshole.” The laugh the taller man gave was contagious, Jackie felt one work its way out of him warmly, “Vinny has the package, he’ll give it to you on the way out.” Jackie pointed towards the conman sternly, “Don’t open it, don’t tell anyone about it, don’t let it out of your sight.”

“What is it?” Nick asked, leaning against the window’s frame casually, spinning the ice in his drink around with his finger idly. Jackie’s eyes twitched,

**_Precious vessel…_ **

Jackie's face twisted in response, only briefly but Nick gave him and odd look,

“Jackie?”

“…Better if you don’t ask.”

“I’m not stupid.” Nick said, “It has to do with that thing.”

“Thing?”

“Y’know, that fuckin’ weird monster thing.” Nick raised his hands, mimicking a snarl by raising his lips and showing his teeth,

**_Kill the other worthy vessel, Jackie._ **

“You look like a fuckin’ idiot.” Jackie ignored the snarling inner voice as Nick scowled,

“You know what I mean, Jackie.” Nick actually looked concerned, “What is it? What am I carting across the country?”

“Keep your voice down, I don’t want anybody else to know…” Jackie glanced at the door to his office, at seeing the door was shut he motioned Nick closer. Nick set himself down on the desk, leaning in towards the other man, “I had Johnny lookin’ into something for me…”

“That fruitcake you had living with you?”

“Yeah. The one who packed his shit and left in the middle of the night… He was lookin’ into a relic I found.” Jackie leaned back in his chair, brow furrowing in thought, “It was back, about two years ago, right after shit went down with my uncle Paulie.”

“When you were holed up with me?” Nick asked suspiciously, Jackie nodded, “We were in Ireland in some little shithole inn, how could you find a Darkness relic there?”

“Found it in the back of the chapel, the one out in the backyard of the inn.”

“What were you doin’ there?”

**_Sit in the house of filth…_ **

“Thinking.” Jack said simply, “…Sometimes it goes quiet if I stay in churches. But it just kept talking, said it felt dark essence behind the pulpit.”

Nick never batted an eyelash when it came to Jack talking about the Darkness, never told him how strange it sounded, never told him what to do or how to feel. He always just sat back and let Jackie talk, it’d been that way ever since they were kids at the orphanage.

“What did you find?” Nick asked, still gazing calmly at the crime boss.

**_Fill the void inside of him, Jackie… Satiate the hunger…_ **

“Like I said…” He shifted in his seat, standing despite Nick’s annoyed raising of an eyebrow, striding to the center of the room, “Better that you don’t know. The last thing I want is for you to get pulled into this too, if I had a better option I’d have someone else do it.”

“Then have Tony Fat-Fuck do it.” Nick grunted, “If I can’t handle looking at the thing, why’re you sticking me with it and flying me to Georgia?” Jackie glared irritably at the conman, “And how in the fuck am I supposed to smuggle it onto an airplane if I don’t know what it is? What am I supposed to do? Cram it up my ass?”

“As a carry-on, dumbshit. I wouldn’t give you something you’d get in trouble for, you’ve taken enough grief for me as is…Just… don’t push this.”

“Where am I taking it?”

“I have a contact in Savannah Georgia, he’ll take it to someone in New Orleans.”

“Just a drop off?”

“No. I need you to stick with the guy like shit to a blanket, make sure he doesn’t go batshit or try and steal the thing out from under me. Make sure it gets where it’s supposed to go, and bring it back when I get my answers.” Jackie ran his fingers back through his long black hair, “Can you do that?”

“Yeah. No problem.”

**_Do NOT let him leave!_ **

“If anything goes wrong, if anything fucked up happens,” Jackie warned, “Mail the fuckin’ thing back here and come home. The lights start flickerin’, you start hearin’ voices, people around you start actin’ fucked up.”

“Oookaay…”

“I mean it, Nick.” Jack said sternly, “Don’t be an idiot. Anything seems fucked up, send it back here. Only reason you got this job? Is because I know you're tough enough to resist any of this shit, and smart enough to know when you're being fucked with.”

There was a faint knock, the two men looking towards the door of the office as it creaked open,

“Jackie? Me n’ the boys are ready to go, you comin’?” Vinny asked, he caught sight of Nick as the conman set his drink down,

“Nah, Vin, you go ahead, I’ll head down in the other car.” Jackie shook his head, before turning to Nick, “Alright man, I’ll see you in a few days.”

“If you say so, Jackie.”

“And don’t take no fuckin’ risks, I don’t wanna bail your ass outta some hick jail.” Jackie admonished, Nick rolling his eyes,

“Don’t worry about me. You go get dolled up for your big night out, pretty boy.”

“Fuck off.” Jackie laughed as he walked away, disappearing out of the other doorway.

“Hey, Mr. Dragonetti!” Vinny crossed the threshold quickly, reaching his hand out towards Nick, “Ain’t seen you in two fuckin’ years! How you been?”

“Been worse.” Nick shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“You still married to that battleaxe Darla?”

“No. You still bangin’ that hepatitis factory Venus?”

“Touche, asshole.” Vinny chuckled, “You comin’ to dinner? I got Jackie a table set up, you can sit with him. I got a couple of girls sittin’ with him tonight, biggest tits you’ve ever seen.”

“I can’t, Jackie’s got me running a package tonight.” Nick reminded the man, Vinny smacked himself in the forehead with his palm,

“Fuck, I forgot. I had it sent to your hotel room, it’ll be with your luggage in the car. He let you in on what it was?”

“No. Secretive as usual.”

“Good reason to be, I guess. His, uh, ‘thing’ caused him a lot of trouble before.” Vinny shrugged his shoulders, “Like how Jenny got killed, probably afraid the same thing’ll happen to you.”

“It won’t. Paulie never took me seriously, and that fat fuck is dead anyway. So who’s to be afraid of?”

“Still, Nicky, you be careful down there, alright?”

“C’mon Vin…” Nick shook his head, “What could possibly go wrong?”

~*~

Him and his big fuckin’ mouth.

“Nick?” Ellis’ voice was concerned as the conman stared at his feet, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He said shortly, “I’m fine.”

“M’kay. You jus’ had that angry look on your face again, is all.” He was still upbeat and happy, goddamn him. Despite the shitty weather, despite all the bullshit he’d gone through, despite being turned away at the last second, the hick had gotten cheerful about finding one shitting box of twinkies. He’d happily shared the food with Nick too, goddamn the cheerful redneck –

“Don’t worry about me, Overalls, I’m good.” Nick said tersely, “I don’t need that shit…”

“Well, sorry, but get the fuck over it.” Ellis chuckled, “Cuz’ it’s jus’ you n’ me now, an’ I don’ wanna see somethin’ bad happen to ya.”

All the stress, tension, lack of food and rest suddenly got to the conman, and he bristled, left eye twitching violently. Ellis felt the conman’s pack of twinkies bounce off the back of his head,

“What the fuck!”

“Nick, dude, wassa matter with you?!” Ellis tossed the package back to him, taken aback by the angry grimace on the taller man’s face.

“We got turned away at the fucking door! We were safe! They take Coach and Rochelle, and they kick us out?! Why?! And why in the fuck are you so goddamn happy?!”

“Well, shit, why be sad? Gotta make the best of what we got –”

“Stop that! Fuckin’ stop it!” Nick chucked the twinkies back at the hick, “ ‘Overcrowded’ my ass! They think we’re infected! We’ll never get in anywhere!”

“Nick don’t talk like that, of course we will.” Ellis rolled his eyes, motioning to the coat on his upper body, “They gave us coats, didn’ they? An’ we used all the rations all this week. But they helped us a bit!”

“Bullshit, we’re fucked…”

“Cut it out, ya big baby, we’ll be fine.” Ellis punched Nick’s arm affectionately, turning away and glancing down the scope of his rifle again. “You’ll see, I got yer back.”

“What the fuck… why is everyone nice to me when I don’t want them to be? Jesus…” Nick grumbled, “This whole fucking time I’ve been mean to you, I’ve called you names, I’ve smacked you at least three times –”

“Oh shut the hell up, man, you didn’t ‘smack’ me, ya pinched my arm a couple times n’ called me ‘Hayseed’. I been treated worse by my history teacher in high school.”

“I’m a gun toting dickhead. Why are you nice to me?!”

“ ‘Cuz all the times you could run out on us,” Ellis’s voice was quiet, “Ya didn’.”

“What?” Nick blinked a few times,

“I know you’re smart enough ta get into the CEDA camp without me.” Ellis said, “Lord knows I wouldn’t have made it this far without you… Ya couldn’t left me alone, and ya didn’.” He didn’t look back at Nick, who slumped back against the wall again, “Yer a lot nicer than you let on.”

“Whatever, I hate you.” Nick kicked his feet slightly, feeling a little childish.

“No ya don’t.” Ellis chuckled, Nick sighed, “Ya feel better now?”

“…No.” Nick lied, Ellis grinned widely, “Okay, yeah, a little…”

“See? Jus’ had to get it outta yer system.” He still smiled as he picked off a stumbling zombie some distance away. He whapped the twinkie with his hand again, knocking it back towards Nick.

“…Thanks kid.”

“Welcome.” He said cheerfully, still staring down the scope, “So, you feelin’ rested? You wanna head out?”

“Sure… Where the hell are we going, anyway?” The conman asked, hefting the assault rifle’s strap over his shoulder,

“Map said there was another encampment around here somewhere, little town through the park garrisoned with CEDA.”

“Hot shit.”

“I figure if we can’t get into the Quarantine proper, we can at least hang around soldiers who can protect us.” Ellis shrugged, “Even if they kick us out we can camp nearby, they’ll keep a lot of the infected back, won’t they?” Nick, uncertain of how he hadn’t thought of it himself, blinked stupidly once or twice.

“…How did I not know about this?”

“Well you kinda were in a funk for the past few days, so… you didn’t want to talk too much.” Ellis said, averting his eyes, “I figured you were bummed about not gettin’ into the camp.”

“Oh.” Nick shoved the package of twinkies into his pocket, hurrying to his feet. There he’d been, having a stress induced tantrum, moping for days, and Ellis had wordlessly, without complaint, led him through miles of forest.

“I had to figure out what to do, so…” Ellis turned, turning towards the doorway of the ranger’s station, shouldering his rifle and picking up the backpack he’d stuffed with supplies. Nick stood there numbly for a moment, biting his lower lip, before hurrying after Ellis, hearing the younger man call for him worriedly.

God, he felt like such a fucking dick…

It was one of those moments he’d usually shove aside and ignore, but this time his self loathing triggered a guilty response, and he felt himself fall a bit further into sadness. Still, he kept up with the hick, and though he didn’t admit it the happy grin and positive attitude cheered him up a bit.

He didn’t let it show though. Didn’t let himself feel vulnerable to the hick, couldn’t let him see how much he cared. Because he did care, and he was astounded that the hick deemed him worth his time to begin with. Nick knew who he was, he was a vain and selfish man who knew what he wanted… and Nick always got what he wanted.

But that was before. Before the Zombies. Before he fled to New Orleans. Back then, he barely cared if the three people around him died, in fact he’d nearly ditched them on several occasions… If it weren’t for Ellis covering him he’d never have wanted to stick around, convincing himself that he simply didn’t want to be in debt to the younger man.

After a while, he’d admit to himself, and himself alone, that he liked him. It wasn’t some weird sexual tension, it wasn’t like he was gay for him, thought that’s what Rochelle kept tormenting him with at every possible opportunity. Little jabs at his sexuality when Ellis wasn’t around kept him locked up tight, but he knew he’d be tormented if Ellis didn’t make it.

So that’s why fate had decided to piss in his eye.

**_Nicolas…_ **

Nick jolted where he was, eyes widening as he stopped dead in his tracks. Ellis continued walking ahead, not noticing the conman’s halt as he pointed ahead.

“Nick! Look! A campfire! I smell smoke!” he pointed towards the tree line ahead, “That must be it! That’s the camp!” Nick nodded blankly, shaking his head violently to dispel the shiver of dread…

But it didn’t go away. It worked further and further into his body, chilling him with a cold sweat. He heard a faint beeping somewhere in the distance, Ellis glancing down at his arm, pulling back his sleeve as he glanced at the watch.

“Th-that’s great, kid…” Nick shakily resumed his pace, Ellis letting out a low laugh,

“It’s midnight.” He said cheerfully, “Hey, guess what?”

“What?”

“It’s my birthday!” Ellis chuckled, forcing a grin to form on the conman’s lips,

“Really?” He watched Ellis turn to face him, “Happy birthday, hayseed. What are you? Four?”

“Ha ha, smartass…” Ellis’ smile faded as he saw Nick’s anxious expression, brow furrowing in concern. “Hey… Nick?” Ellis’ head tipped slightly, lips pursing, puzzled as Nick’s eyes widened further, mouth parting in terror. “You alright?” It was at the last moment that Ellis saw Nick reaching for his assault rifle, eyes locked not on his face, but at something just beyond. The shriek of the Charger deafening as it drew close.

**_Innocence dies._ **

Nick was bowled over as Ellis was knocked forwards, tumbling into the mud as shouts and flashlights made their way through the trees. Feet pounded into the ground as the conman righted himself, branches snapping and leaves crunching beneath combat boots, orders shouted and weapons drawn. Ellis was screaming as Nick aimed and fired, the world around him dimming and going quiet as the Infected howled in pain, dropping the hick and rounding on him.

Gunfire at either side of his head made Nick’s ears ring, and he felt a boot connect with his lower back, knocking him forwards and onto the ground again. He ducked his head, waiting for the weapon’s fire to cease, the Charger yowling and yelping in pain before finally tipping over and falling into the mud.

The silence was too much for Nick as he lifted his head, struggling to his feet as the soldiers around him lowered their weapons. He couldn’t hear Ellis, he wasn’t screaming anymore, but he wasn’t talking either, he wasn’t telling Nick he was alright, not trying to get up from where he lay in the dirt and rotting leaves -

“Ellis!” He lurched forwards, mud soaking into his clothes, dropping his gun as he ran forwards towards the slumped body. Rough hands grabbed him, stopping him, “That’s my friend! Let go of me –”

**_Tear their flesh…_ **

“Nick!” Ellis was being pulled to his knees, his left arm hanging oddly as the CEDA soldiers sat him upright.

His nose was bleeding, his arm broken, his face was bruising, and his hat was missing, but Ellis was alive. The conman let out a low breath of relief as seeing Ellis’ eyes lock on him, relaxing against the harsh grip of his arms. The tall forms standing around them suddenly didn’t seem so protective, the hair on the back of Nick’s neck stood on end.

 ** _Nicolas…_** It crawled up his spine like a set of cold fingers, pulling and scraping along flesh and bone, Nick felt his body convulse ever so slightly, **_He reeks of innocence…_**

“What’re you…” Nick watched Ellis’ head jerk as the muzzle of a shotgun pressed against his temple, “What’re you doing?! No!”

**_He is… the Light…_ **

“Nick…” It was a breathless sob from the young man’s throat, hearing the weapon cock, a shell entering the chamber, “Why’re they –”

**_Let it be snuffed out._ **

Nick felt warmth splattering against his face, the hot substance slapping into his eyes, making him cringe and recoil, a low moan of defeat leaving him,

“No…” He wrenched his arm away from the man above him, clawing his way through the mud, slipping and sliding until he reached the limp body before him. His ears rang loudly, his eyes burned, the mass of gore that had once been Ellis’ face stared up at him,

 ** _Aww… What did they do to Ellis?_** Nick’s fingers tangled into his own hair tugging absently as he stared down at his companion blankly, **_He is meat. He is rotted flesh. Grieve not for the sheep._**

“Why… Why did you do that?!” He felt hands on his again, and he was pulled back, “We’re not Infected! We’re Immune!” he fell back onto his knees harshly, pain shot up through his legs, “He was Immune-”

“You’re a Carrier.” A voice from behind replied, almost business like...

...Like they'd done this dozens of times before. Nick's mind raced, seconds dragged on like minutes as his chest seemed to tighten in a panic.

What the hell was the point of the camps if they just wanted to kill Carriers?

Why would they take Coach and Ro, and not  them? They were all Immune, 'Carriers' of the rabies-like necrosis...

“Hold him down! I don’t want to miss.” Cold metal pressed against the side of Nick’s head, the fresh blood still dripping through his hair and eyelashes, tears making a wet trail down his cheeks.

This couldn't be it. All the fighting, the running, the fear, the sleepless nights where they'd huddled together to try and survive until dawn, the blood, the sweat, the moments of exhaustion where they all wanted to just lay down and accept a fate forced upon them -

"No! You can't do this, we came so far!"

 ** _Through your end…_** The whisper made his skin prickle, goosebumps rose on his skin, his nerves taught with terror, **_I will be reborn._**

“What the fuck are you?!” Nick demanded, he heard the voice laugh, cackling loudly. “Don’t do this!” The pump action weapon cocked, the soldier took aim, “No –”

 ** _Goodnight… sleep tight…_ **  Nick slumped over sideways, a rush of cool air rushing over his open scalp as he twitched and quivered where he was. Darkness crept over his eyes, and they rolled back up into his head as the world went white. **_Don’t let the bed bugs bite…_**

~*~

He twisted where he was, the heat unbearable, light blinding him as he twisted free of his binds.

“No, let go of me – _whoa_!” He felt his back slip off the mattress, the wind knocked out of him as his back and head hit the tiled ground. The blanket he’d been tangled in was still wrapped around his foot as his body throbbed. “Ah, shit…”

“Hey, take it easy buddy!” A gentle hand touched his shoulder, which he promptly shoved away. He scooted back, sitting upright and smacking his head again into the wall behind, “Calm down, Nicky!” The conman blinked once or twice, shaking his head as his eyes adjusted, hands held defensively out in front of him.

“What…” Barred windows, sterile white walls, a shitty hospital bed with restraints attached right to the frame… His chest heaved, and he blinked stupidly for a moment at the orderly that had come to attend to him.

“You awake now?”

“What the fuck…” Nick took a small breath, his arms lowered ever so slightly, the light still stinging his eyes, “…V-Vinny?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” The warm smile was familiar, his hands rested on his thighs, hairline receding, leaning down to look Nick in the eye, “You okay? You hit your head pretty hard.”

“What the fuck is this place? Where am I?” Nick demanded,

“You’re in the hospital, Nicky, remember?" His smile was friendly, warm, like he was amused and Nick had done this plenty of times before, "You fell out of bed.”

“Hospital? What hospital?” Nick pushed himself to his feet,

“Take it easy, buddy, you’re fine. You just get confused sometimes, and the doctors are tryin’ to help.” Vinny stood up straight, “Hey, come on out, I’ll tell the Doc you had a good night, okay?” Nick shook his head, turning around completely to stare out the window.

“What the fuck…” Vinny walked calmly out into the hall, Nick followed him, immediately striding to the windows across the hallway, pressing his face against the glass and staring out into the courtyard. “What the fuck…”

Nick felt something on his wrist where normally his watch was located, the small light beads of the rosary pressing lightly into his skin. He stared at it for a time, unsure of where the pearly prayer beads had come from, the small tarnished silver cross hanging in front of his eyes as he stood in panicked thought.

Where were the soldiers? Where was the bitterly cold night? The smell of blood? The Zombies?

And why the hell was Vinny acting like Nick waking up in a loony bin was normal?

" _Shit_..."

“I don’t know, it looks like he’s getting a better.” Nick glanced towards the voice, which seemed to be coming from just down the brightly lit hall. It sounded like a woman, her soft tones tickling his memory. “Apart from the occasional nightmare.”

“He’s delusional.” A rougher voice chimed in, "He's made a lot of progress but we still need to be very careful with him. He's easily coerced and manipulated when he's not lucid.:

“He’s still taking his medicine, though, he’s not fighting against it.”

The voice. That woman's voice.

Nick knew that voice.

He rounded the corner, pausing as he found two figures a small distance away, half hidden in the doorway of an office. There was a whir of a small fan in the office, the smell of brewing coffee and lemon disinfectant, the squeak of shoes against tile. Nick’s stomach tightened, breath catching in his throat, as he saw the dark haired and younger woman standing in the hallway. His mouth tasted bitter, and dry, his throat hurt like he'd been shouting the whole night.

"It's true that he's a great deal calmer than before." The bald and aged doctor said in agreement, prominent nose and jowls helping Nick recognize Jimmy 'The Grape' standing in a white lab coat.

“I’m just concerned that he’s sleeping too much…" The woman continued, Nick absently, and numbly, stepping forwards a little further. "He seems depressed, I think it’s because Jackie –”

“He was very attached to Jackie, we don’t want to cause another incident by pressing the subject with him, Jenny.” The rough voice cut her off...

Who the hell were they talking about? What happened to Jackie? Where was Ellis -

“But he keeps asking where he went! He was the only friend Nick had here, what am I supposed to…” she trailed off, shaking her head, putting her face in her hands. The bald doctor finally saw Nick standing silently in the hallway beside them, “It’s my fault… I didn’t spend enough time with –”

“Jenny.” A hand fell on her shoulder, the older man silencing Jenny as Nick took a few steps closer, “Good morning Nicolas.”

“…J-Jimmy?” Nick’s eyes flicked between the two of them, “Jenny?” The urge to reach out to the woman was resisted as she lifted her head out of her heads, slapping on a cheerful smile. “What… what’s going on?”

“Nicky! You’re awake!” She folded her arms over her chest, “You missed breakfast again.”

“Not hungry…" He immediately waved it off despite his stomach gurgling for the first real food it might have after months of near starvation and canned goods. Irritation bit at him, making his lips purse and his nose wrinkle, "What’s happening? What is all this?”

“Same thing as before, kiddo.” Jimmy said calmly, Nick blanched, “You’re in the hospital.”

“No, no, _no_. I’m not, this is _bullshit_.” Nick said, pointing at the bald man, “You’re not a fuckin’ doctor.” He motioned to Jenny, the white rosary clicking softly as he did so. “And she’s dead.” He withdrew his hand, “This is a dream, this isn’t real.” He pointed to his own temple, “I just got shot in the fucking head! My friend died!”

He felt along his head, wanting to tangle his fingers in his own hair and tug… but there was none, his head was shaved. The rings were gone from his fingers too, woolen socks covered his feet, and he yanked at the collar of his dark striped pajamas.

“Nick, we’ve been through this before,” Jimmy reminded, “The stories Jackie told aren’t real, remember? They’re in his head, he gets confused just like you do.”

“Jackie,” Nick’s fists clenched, “You were talking about him.” Jenny averted her eyes, “Where is he?” The nurse and doctor looked at each other, the woman finally sighing heavily.

“Nicky… Do you remember when we told you Jackie went home?”

“What? No, I fucking don’t. I just _got here_.” He growled,

“He… had an accident.” Jenny said softly, Nick blinked, “He wouldn’t take his medicine, and he ran up to the roof…” Jenny shook her head sadly, “He’s not here anymore.”

“What’re you saying? Are you telling me Jackie is _dead_?!”

“Yes, Nick.” Jimmy nodded, while he seemed sad, it was a stern and hard sadness, the speech more elegant and formal than what Nick was used to.

“That is _bullshit_.” Nick snarled, “Jackie Estacado is _not dead._  Even he isn't that big of an idiot to throw himself off the roof! _You are_. _You're the one that's dead._ He’s been mourning you for two years, we buried you. I was at the damn funeral.”

Nick had been there when Jackie couldn't be, laid flowers on her grave and stood in respectful silence in the rain while he held the umbrella over Aunt Sarah and Jimmy. It was a dark day, a heavy and sad day that he wished he'd never had to witness.

Jackie's aunt Sarah had never really put up with his bullshit, but she'd never turned him away either. She wasn't stupid, and didn't treat him like some pissant peon, she treated him better than his own mother or the nuns in the orphanage had. Jackie and Jenny were the only real friends, the only people he knew wouldn't screw him over... they had no reason to. Even with the life he led he felt like a normal person around them.

Paulie was a slob who stole the crown, and it slipped down over his greasy, thick head and choked him. Nick didn't have patience for the whole thing, Nick's family came from the Irish mob before he found himself in the same orphanage as Jackie and Jenny. He'd seen when the tough lifestyle had done to his father, enforcers either had a screw loose, or grew cold to learn how to deal with their life.

Nick didn't want that near him, his mother was no help, she drank to help pretend she didn't live with a psychopath and his troubled kid. Like her, Nick was skilled at manipulation, and most of the time he was on his own. Until the fire. Until the orphanage. When Paulie died Jackie wanted to bring him in, give him more, keep him safe... He hadn't forgotten his buddy Nick, and neither had Jenny before she...

Now this bullshit copy was in front of him, the family he'd accidentally collected being mocked. Nick knew what it was to crawl through the bloodied muck and grass, to get puked on and beaten down, his clothes torn and dirtied, to have nother even before the whole apocalypse... but this? This felt like a worse insult than that, like the ever thrumming presence behind the whole damn thing thought he was stupid enough to accept this.

"Calm down Nick... look at me."

And, damn it all, he still himself. He looked at her, into the wide, accepting eyes, the pretty face lighting up with relief as he complied, smiling... she was smiling... "See? I'm fine!"

"Jenny..." He shook his head, "You're not fine..."

"I'm standing right here, I just spoke to you last night before I went home for the night. You talked about your mother, remember? Your dad, too. About Ellis and how he actually  _talked_ to you -"

" _You're not fine Jenny._ I laid flowers on your grave." He was nearly shouting, infuriated, “You cut my hair, you took my clothes… Fuck I just got shot in the head! Ellis is dead! They killed Ellis! _Don’t you care about that_?!”

“Ellis is fine, Nicky.” Jenny assured him, Nick’s eyes widened, he felt sick and his chest felt tight.

“He’s not fine, he’s dead! He got shot! CEDA killed him! Don't call me Nicky like you're her! _You're not her_!” He recoiled as Jenny reached for him, but her insistent hand grasped his, and firmly pulled him forwards by his right arm. Nick didn’t resist her soft touch, it felt familiar, safe -

“Come on, I’ll take you to see him.” She kept pulling him along,

“No, Jenny..." He shook his head, his eyes burned and he hated himself for letting her lead him along, "Jenny _please_ , let go of me you don’t understand, I have to get out of here –”

“Don’t be afraid Nicky.” Her smiled was warm, so genuine, so happy, “You’re safe here.”

The word ‘safe’, when said in the helpful, caring, tone… the flash of rage was enough for Nick to snap.

Safe? Safe is what Ellis should have been. Safe wasn’t real, it wasn’t an option anymore. Not since the people who were supposed to keep him safe turned on him, blew his friend’s brains out, blew his brains out.

The doctor to his right didn’t have time to react as Nick’s hand pulled back, and he struck the woman in front of him. He felt her skin give a little against the back of his hand, his knuckles aching as they hit her cheek bone. Her lip was split, and with the way she hit the floor Nick was sure that he’d given her a concussion and maybe knocked out a tooth. But he didn’t care.

" _You're not her! Stop it!_ "

Nick, honestly wasn’t expecting the orderlies to respond so quickly, he was yanked back, pinned to the sun warmed tile, and something jabbed into his neck.

A needle.

Fuck. Nick hated needles.

“Easy buddy!” Vinny’s voice came from somewhere above him, his vision beginning to swim, the sunlight from the windows and whitewashed walls suddenly blurring together, “We’re gonna take care of you!”

Nick felt a chill suddenly creep into his body, darkness blotting out his vision. He smelled smoke and death.

He could still hear Ellis sobbing.

 


End file.
